Bella and Edward
by fangranger
Summary: This is a really stupid and extra short one-shot. It is making fun of Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

"Come on, Bella. Don't go over there with that stinky werewolf. Stay here with me." Edward pleaded.

"Edward, i know this is hard for you to understand, since you have spent the last 100 years without any friends, but Jacob needs me. He's taking it

pretty harshly that i don't have feelings for him and i'm scared he might do something stupid or dangerous like try to hurt himself because of it. I

have that effect on people." I tried to explain to him.

"Bella, i just don't like for you to be near him. He could infest you with fleas or something." Edward sighed.

"Well, you had your chance to fight him and turn him into little Jacob bits but you were afraid to." I reminded Edward.

"yeah, well...that was...you know...I was just scared that it would hurt you if he died." Edward scampered for an excuse of any kind to pretend that he

wasn't scared of Jake.

"Yeah, i bet. Well anyways, i'm going to go. I want to see him and he wants to see me and you can't stop me. Unless, of course, you use your super

strength to make me stay. But if you do that then i will be mad at you so you had better not." I told him off.

I then got into my giant beautiful hunk of metal turned rust and drove off to see my best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

When I got to Jacobs house, I parked my big piece of junk behind Billy's car. Jacob heard my engine and came outside.

"Hey Bella," He said, all excited to see my, just like everyone always is. He gave me a gigantic bear hug. I thought that was funny since he's a

wolf.

"Jacob. Stop. Can't. Breath," I gasped.

"Sorry, didn't mean to hurt you," He apologized, looking into my beautiful brown eyes that look like two puddles of warm mud.

"It's ok," I smiled at him, showing off my killer smile.

We went down into his make-shift garage, just like old times. He showed me his latest project, a jet ski that had parts lying around everywhere. I

knew this was going to take a lot of work.

"Don't you think its a little cold here for being in the water at all?"I asked him, loving the chance to show off my brains.

"I don't get cold, remember?" He raised his eyebrows. I felt stupid for forgetting, since now that he mentioned it, I could feel heat coming off him

from where I was standing.

"Oh, yeah. Right," I said. Just then I heard a noise and Quil and Embry came in. They smiled when they saw me.

"Hey Bella!" Embry hugged me. It was pretty obvious that he was into me. Quil waved from where he was standing. I tried not to be hurt by this. I

knew he had the hots for me, he just didn't show it like everyone else did.

"Quil, Embry, what are you guys doing here?" Jacob asked, sounding like he really didnt care what the answer was.

"Just thought we would drop by." Embry smiled at me. I looked at him to who i guessed was Quil, to Jacob. Why did all these boys from around

here all look the same? It looked like the tall, dark, and muscular milk man had payed a visit to all of their mothers. 

"Well, me and Bella are kind busy." He informed them.

"We are? What are we doing? When are we gonna start doing it?" I asked him.

"Yeah Jacob, what are you planning on doing thats going to keep you so busy?" Embry raised his eyebrows as Quil laughed.

"Get out." Jacob told him.

They left without a second glance at him.

"Bella, do you realize how stupid you are?" Jacob asked me, shaking his head.

"Well, i have been told that, but i dont think i ever believed it. So no." I said.

"You know, I dont think i was really suprised about how much older you were than me because of how much taller i am than you. I think i was it

was really because i'm so much smarter than you." He told me.

"You are NOT smarter than me." I said.

"Really? How many weeks are in a decade? Or a year? Or even a month?" He questioned me. I could tell he was using his best questions on

me. Who would ever know how many weeks are in a month?

"I don't know. How many stars are in the sky?" I asked him. I bet he wouldn't get this one right.

"How would i possibly know that? Do you know that?" He asked me, starting to get angry.

"No, but if you're so much smarter than me you should know that answer even if i don't." I told him wisely.

"I think maybe you should go home. And...take some medicine of something. I think you might need it." He looked worried that i was so much

smarter than him, like the world wouldn't go on just because i'd just proven he wasn't a genius.

"Its ok not to know everything." I informed Jacob.

"Seriously Bella, i think you should go. As in, i don't want you to be here anymore. I'm seriously reconsidering how much sanity i have because i

ever liked you in the first place." He shook his head.

"Fine. I'll leave, but you'll want me back. Because nobody can resist the Bella." I told him, walking all sexy like an attractive person.

Then i left, but out of the corner of my eye i saw him shake his head again, probably hating himself for telling me to leave.


End file.
